My New Haircut!

"Jagerbomb!"
Well, it's more like "Red Wine!" but I did get a new haircut. And I am going to show it off.
I got bangs! Say what! I haven't had real bangs since I was 6, maybe? And then I got the bowl cut and it was all downhill from there. I'm pretty sure it'll take me, and the dog, about a week to recgonize me. I realize now that this is a little too Roman Holiday of me but, when in Rome, do as the Hollywood stars in America do!
Having said that, Italy had a lot of America stamped across it. Alessandra told me that in the 50s and 60s there was a debt to be payed and the American's helped out. Since then there has been a sort of gratitude towards America here and people really take in their music, hair products and the like, movie characters and celebrities. They only have a little bit of the food, structures and cars. This means that I can have real gelato and unprocessed cheese in a medieval building while watching MTV on the big screen and Sarah can wear Hello Kitty socks in her handmade Italian shoes.
Speaking of ths children, I have a complete new appreciation for them, and Alessandra. I feel that I have been lacking on my blog with conversation about them, considering they are such a huge part of my life here. I live with them and see them everyday, some days all day, and our relationships have really shifted. Over the past month, I have become much closer with them than I ever thought I would. When I first got here, I truly honestly thought that this would end up being just a job and I would never really enjoy being with the children. They were loud, torrentous, mean and made me pretty much decide to never have children for fear that they would end up like these children.
However. Not only does it help that I now understand what they say, I also understand their habits and their likes and their moods.
Benedetta and I have bonded pretty much the most of all three. Leo and I have a lot of fun and we get along great, but I just don't spend as much time with him. Having said that, he had an astrology class at 7,00 pm that I took him to and we laughed the whole way up the hill about something I cannot remember, and he always asked me to watch soccer with him. He has one DVD of a game that we will watch over and over. He acts surprised everytime there is this one epic goal and he replays it like he's never seen it before. He is always showing me his games and I believe he quite trusts me.
Sarah and I have come a long way. She is still sometimes hesitant to follow my directions, but I have realized this is just Sarah. She is like this with her mother, her father and the teachers at school. I'm just happy that now I consider her having bad behaviour when I have to ask more than once instead of when she bites me. She always greets me and whenever I'm sitting here writing in my blog, she's saying, "Carrie! Gioci con mi!" (Play games with me!) She has stopped trying to piss me off, and started trying to impress me with her quick hand at memory and hilarious game of What can I pretend is a hat? I would truly love to be a child again, if only for 6 minutes, to know why hats are so hilarious. There was a picture in a book the other day of a man wearing a hat and sitting on a horse. Sarah yelled, "Capello!" (hat) and laughed for like ten minutes. Seriously? Are hats really that funny?
Allora. Benedetta and I are, like, bestfriends. We chill. I really always have a fun time with her and we are always exchanging looks from across the table at dinner when someone says something we both know is wrong or annoying. She still has her moments when she looks at me with disdain as I offer her a shirt she doesn't like or when she cries because her hair isn't quite right, but this reminds me that she is 5 and I am 20. Then I say, deal with it, and she remembers that I am 20 and she is 5.
So, I feel much better coming home to a house full of friendly, warm children rather than the raging menaces I thought they would always be. I could go on about why I think things have changed, but really, I'm just happy that they have. Lots of change! From the hair on my head to the ideas inside it.
With Alessandra, we have had our differences. She often thought I could read her mind, and would get aggitated when the beds weren't done right or the laundry was in the wrong place. However, she had never told me how to do the beds or where the laundry went. It was everyday that something would strain between us. I had this odd feeling, because I liked her, but she irritated me in this way.
Then, there was the day with no fiocchi. I woke up, as usual, to make breakfast, but there was nothing to serve. There was no cereal, biscotti, bread. Nothing for the kids to eat. I woke her up and she sent me to the store. I was so unnerved, because we need these things everyday, and I do not do the shopping.
When I got back, I told her I was very unpleased. I really don't know how to go about telling someone something is wrong or that I'm angry. I don't do that often. Anyways, it started as a conversation about her not watching the food, and she tells me I should be writing these things on a list when we run out. Then she said it, "With my last au pair, we had a list that we wrote on when we ran out of something." You have to consider that she said this with disdain, as if I should have known this all along. I realised that she said this everyday: "With my last au pair..."
So, I said, I was not here then. I have only just started living here. I only know, and do, what you tell me.
We both had a lightbulb moment. She realized, and told me, and appologized, that she truly expected me to know everything, for some reason, before she told me. I think she just really didn't want to take the time to train another au pair, so it formed as angst towards me when I didn't know something. I also realized that I need to be a bit more alert and assertive around the house. I still only do what she asks, but if I don't know something, I ask. We now have a system for groceries and almost every other daily secondary thoughts, past breathing and things.
Who knew facing your problems and talking about them was a healthy way to work your way to a solution? We have become much closer since this argument.
Being an Au Pair is an interesting thing, because you are part roomate, part coworker. It's like living with your boss. But, not. The way some families described it on the website when I was first looking, was inviting a big sister to come live with them. I like this description. I become a part of the family and a part of the house. They care about my day when I get home and I care about how they feel, not only if they are ready for school and fed and well behaved.

It's a strange job, and it's a hard one to describe, but what's a life without blurring the lines a little?